What am I doing here?
What am I doing here??
Some times I ask myself this question, especially when it comes to being creative. Working full time and taking care of a family while trying to remain creative is extremely hard. Then I am tasked with writing a blog about something and then I get writer’s block. I’ve recently watched a bunch of TV series that I would love to write about but when I sit down to write about them I really don’t know what to say except that I enjoyed then. There is no real format or thought process when it comes to me being entertained, if it catches my attention the I just keep watching it.
So here I am in front of my Laptop asking myself, What am I truly doing here? I started this journey a long time ago. I wanted to go to film school and make movies. Life events happened so I had to put that dream on the back burner. As I was getting older that dream fell further and further away. I started a YouTube channel to try to keep that dream alive, that was 8 years ago. Over that time I have tried my hand at video producing, podcasting, live streaming, blogging and am I founding member of an online content creating community. I continue to write and jot down ideas for scripts, video ideas and in general content creating.
After the 8 years, here I am questioning myself. I take a look back at my content creating career and see that none of it has gone anywhere and I’m still working my day job. Over 100 + Videos Produced on YouTube, 34 Podcast Episodes Produced, Hours and Hours Live Streaming, 100’s of hours networking, 70+ Blog posts, 1,000’s of Social Media posts… What do I have to show for it? The answer is a little more complicated than you might think.
On the financial side of things I’m definitely in the hole. Not a small 4ft deep hole, more like the hole Harry Stamper had to drill on that asteroid in that one movie. Yea, over the course of 8 years I would have to say I probably could have bought a slightly used Honda Civic. Between the time dedicated to learning, the equipment required to produce some decent content, the hours producing the actual content and networking. Yea it is a lot, I add in the time dedicated into the cost because time spent doing this takes away from time I could have worked and earned extra income or time taken away from family. Now on the flip side of things in the past 8 years I have learned a lot as well, to the point where I feel the cost actually equally weighs to the value even though I never really went viral. That’s where the answer gets a little complicated. The wealth of knowledge I learned along the way and connections I made in the process are priceless. I can truly look back at the content I produced and can see the progression in skill and knowledge. The fact I was able to jump to different platforms and produce content for each one is a feat in itself. Then for a Part-Time content creator, the amount of content is also something I proud of.
I started this journey because I wanted to keep my dream alive and never really thought that I would go viral. It was just a hobby I wanted to do, then as I started down the rabbit hole that is content creating I succumbed to the demon you see above. I believe that this is the demon all content creators battled. I started this blog questioning myself but as I started jotting down my thoughts I realized that the answer was more complicated than what even thought. No, I’ve not gone viral and I still work a full-time job but I didn’t start the journey with that in mind. I needed to remind myself that the content I produced was for me, something I wanted to see produced and I’m very proud of it all. The connections I made and the knowledge I gained along the way is priceless. I have a better understanding of content creating and share what I know with others that also want to start out in it.
So “What am I doing here?” I know I can’t dedicate the time needed to make this a full-time thing for me but I can share my knowledge and experience with others who may want to walk the path I walked, so in that aspect I’m a Teacher. I’m going to continue learning, so in that aspect I’m a Student. So as you can see the answer is complicated, I’m a teacher and student. I want to keep producing content and as long as there is a platform to post content to I will continue to do so. With all the ups and downs I’ve had doing this, one thing I know for sure is that it’s been worth it.
If you ever asked yourself “What am I doing here?” on your content creating journey, remind yourself that sometimes it’s not the destination, it’s the journey. Keep learning and if it’s something you’re truly passionate about keep grinding!