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  • Writer's pictureSean Flac

What am I doing here?



What am I doing here??

Some times I ask myself this question, especially when it comes to being creative. Working full time and taking care of a family while trying to remain creative is extremely hard. Then I am tasked with writing a blog about something and then I get writer’s block. I’ve recently watched a bunch of TV series that I would love to write about but when I sit down to write about them I really don’t know what to say except that I enjoyed then. There is no real format or thought process when it comes to me being entertained, if it catches my attention the I just keep watching it.

So here I am in front of my Laptop asking myself, What am I truly doing here? I started this journey a long time ago. I wanted to go to film school and make movies. Life events happened so I had to put that dream on the back burner. As I was getting older that dream fell further and further away. I started a YouTube channel to try to keep that dream alive, that was 8 years ago. Over that time I have tried my hand at video producing, podcasting, live streaming, blogging and am I founding member of an online content creating community. I continue to write and jot down ideas for scripts, video ideas and in general content creating.

After the 8 years, here I am questioning myself. I take a look back at my content creating career and see that none of it has gone anywhere and I’m still working my day job. Over 100 + Videos Produced on YouTube, 34 Podcast Episodes Produced, Hours and Hours Live Streaming, 100’s of hours networking, 70+ Blog posts, 1,000’s of Social Media posts… What do I have to show for it? The answer is a little more complicated than you might think.

On the financial side of things I’m definitely in the hole. Not a small 4ft deep hole, more like the hole Harry Stamper had to drill on that asteroid in that one movie. Yea, over the course of 8 years I would have to say I probably could have bought a slightly used Honda Civic. Between the time dedicated to learning, the equipment required to produce some decent content, the hours producing the actual content and networking. Yea it is a lot, I add in the time dedicated into the cost because time spent doing this takes away from time I could have worked and earned extra income or time taken away from family. Now on the flip side of things in the past 8 years I have learned a lot as well, to the point where I feel the cost actually equally weighs to the value even though I never really went viral. That’s where the answer gets a little complicated. The wealth of knowledge I learned along the way and connections I made in the process are priceless. I can truly look back at the content I produced and can see the progression in skill and knowledge. The fact I was able to jump to different platforms and produce content for each one is a feat in itself. Then for a Part-Time content creator, the amount of content is also something I proud of.

I started this journey because I wanted to keep my dream alive and never really thought that I would go viral. It was just a hobby I wanted to do, then as I started down the rabbit hole that is content creating I succumbed to the demon you see above. I believe that this is the demon all content creators battled. I started this blog questioning myself but as I started jotting down my thoughts I realized that the answer was more complicated than what even thought. No, I’ve not gone viral and I still work a full-time job but I didn’t start the journey with that in mind. I needed to remind myself that the content I produced was for me, something I wanted to see produced and I’m very proud of it all. The connections I made and the knowledge I gained along the way is priceless. I have a better understanding of content creating and share what I know with others that also want to start out in it.

So “What am I doing here?” I know I can’t dedicate the time needed to make this a full-time thing for me but I can share my knowledge and experience with others who may want to walk the path I walked, so in that aspect I’m a Teacher. I’m going to continue learning, so in that aspect I’m a Student. So as you can see the answer is complicated, I’m a teacher and student. I want to keep producing content and as long as there is a platform to post content to I will continue to do so. With all the ups and downs I’ve had doing this, one thing I know for sure is that it’s been worth it.

If you ever asked yourself “What am I doing here?” on your content creating journey, remind yourself that sometimes it’s not the destination, it’s the journey. Keep learning and if it’s something you’re truly passionate about keep grinding!

WWW.SEANFLAC.COM

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